"People were getting to me. Just, you know, how they are."

I saw a special on Frontline about the teen mind. And about how essentially, teenage minds are different than any other. Something about how the frontal vortex is growing too fast, and the brain on a whole isn't fully developed. Therefore impacting just about everything you do, the decisions you make, the friends you keep, the life you lead.

So basically, teenagers are fucked.
Maybe there should just be a dormant stage between twelve and twenty. Like a hibernation period. That sounds nice.

Because I'm definitely a creature of feeling. And you know that feeling, like you're being attacked from all sides? From school; seven periods, each fifty minutes. Fighting with friends, and homework due every hour, everyday. To work, working from four to midnight, before wanting to come home and collapse. And somehow it's never enough; I'm a bad person for wanting to get off at ten, I'm a bad person for not getting the homework done, for not getting enough sleep or doing enough laundry.

That feeling like you're being scraped from every corner, like life is just too painful, too stressful, too much. I hate the feeling like you can't round a corner without facing another danger, another weight.

My mom, bless her heart, told me it's just too stressful; I'm spinning out of control. I think her goal was to get me to see the next step. It's my job, as being alive and appreciating what that means, to pull it back in. And if that means cutting back on things, that's fine. But it's so hard for me to admit I need help.

But my voice is hoarse from yelling, my head is pounding from stress, my muscles are tired from working, and my eyes are burning from tears that aren't falling.

It's time to make some changes.