Dear Summer,

You can't come fast enough.
As the year gets closer and closer to ending, and AP exams start so spread their shadow, I just feel myself burning out. (Granted, the dreadful weather isn't really helping). It's a unique feeling. Similar and yet very different than the onslaught of winter depressions. It's seems that when you hit April, and the flowers still aren't blooming and it's still raining and you're still in school, your life feels just like that: still. And more than anything you just want to hit fast forward and feel excited again, reawaken your senses. You want to feel excited about things again, to be able to run outside without checking the weather, to hook up in a car without the heat on, to smoke cigarettes just to feel the warm burn in your throat, without feeling guilty or worrying about cancer. You want your heart to feel light again, in love without burden or remorse.

I found something I wrote last summer that describes it pretty well...

I guess the only way to convey how I've been feeling lately is content. It's nice to not feel anything hanging over your head, any problems in the distance, any fights or drugs or accidents or fear.

Just driving and music, Camp Crestwood and Blockbuster, work and houses. Friends and movies, coloring books, soda and sleep, heat and air conditioning. I could live like this for a while...

I just want that to come back. I want the heat and the sun and the grass, and I want this awful stillness to end. I'm going for optimism, though. So in the spirit of that: eight weeks left. I know I can do it.