It's just that I've run out of ideas. I've always been able to muster up some courage or some wisdom, some insight to help me get through things.
But it's all run dry. And I just feel exhausted, so tired of carrying this life, of trying to make it work.
And this paralyzing loneliness has been chasing me all day.
I want to feel happy without this insane clutching.
I want to appreciate Connor, and my friends, without being terrified of losing them.
And above all, I'm tired of feeling crazy. I want some form of security.
God's going to need to intervene here, because I'm no longer equipped.
1 comment:
first of all: i read what you wrote in Con's yearbook and I thought it was adorable.
Don't give up hope kev, summer is coming, and we'll both be sane again, if we have to do it together. you won't lose your friends (especially not me) and don't even think about losing connor, that's what is making you feel crazy.
I think everybody in the world wants to feel some security in their lives:
so you're not alone.
i love you
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